Home TWO weeks

I have been wanting to reflect on the first 2 weeks as a family of 7. I actually have been putting this post off, because it is pretty personal and kind of difficult to put into words what I'm feeling.
But now I have this gorgeous picture of Miss Nina - isn't she RADIANT?? - and it may just be the right time.
I'll give it a try...

I expected Nina's transition into our family to be difficult. And at times it was, especially that first week in Changsha.
The big mistake I made though was to focus my thoughts on HER alone. Let me explain: I felt ready to help HER become a part of our now rather large family. I thought about how to include HER into our daily activities, and how to introduce HER to our extended family and friends.

When we came home, I was caught off guard. Nina made herself at home fairly easily. Really, she was a trooper. She loved the attention, she took to her new siblings right away, she was comfortable in our house and didn't act like a stranger at all. The ones who struggled were our other kids and ME!

All of a sudden I had thoughts like "Who is this three year old stranger in my house?", or all I wanted was hanging out with my children I KNEW so well. The bond I had felt with Nina while we were in China felt so insignificant. So small. So new. And it was hard. Very hard. I felt like I had the total Baby Blues (is there such a thing as Adoption Hormones? There's GOT to be!)

On the other hand there were our 4 kids who had been without us for up to three weeks. There was the anticipation of our return. The anticipation of the new sister they had waited for and prayed for. And when it all finally happened, they crumbled. Kind of. There was lots of crying at our house the first couple of days after we came home, and everyones emotions were pretty crazy.

That first week was not what I had expected. I did not anticipate the needs everyone had, I had always just thought about Nina's needs. Boy was I off! By the end of the week, I was so worn out emotionally that I would just sit down and cry once all the kids were in bed and asleep. It was so hard to take care of everybody's needs - I did not want anyone to feel left out, unloved, loved less, or a combination of all three. Add to the mix that we were tired and somewhat jet-lagged (not bad, though), and Mike got quite sick a couple of days after we got home.

It was like Satan was trying to steal all our joy, to destroy the bond we had begun to build with Nina and to whisper the lie into my ear that our family would not be whole again. Once I realized what was happening I was able to pray against that, and now, at the end of week 2, I can start to see how things are slowly coming together. I have to remind myself that we followed the path the Lord had laid in front of us. His plan. And he is still in charge. Of my emotions. Of my kids. Of my family.

Why am I sharing all of this? Because I hardly ever read about this kind of stuff. I was not prepared well for this part of Nina's adoption. It is my hope and prayer that it will help others to be encouraged, and to prepare themselves for a ride that continues to be wild and unpredictable even after you survive the long trip home from China.

*****Deutsche Version: www.chinagirlswitzerland.blogspot.com Titel: 2 Wochen *****