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Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
National Adoption Day!
Big KUDOS to my bloggy friend Kim who has done a wonderful job with her recent posts about adoption awareness.
I don't have anything real fancy to share to honor this day. At least these things may not seem huge to others, but to me - to US - they are.
They are two significant victories that have kind of crept up on me, and I can't even put a date on either of them. All of a sudden, however, I realized they are there. They really show just HOW far Nina has come in the 16 months she has been with us.
For a long time, when something did not go Nina's way, or she had to be disciplined, she would always shake her head when I told her that indeed I loved her.
She has completely stopped that.
For now, anyway.
She must be learning that our love does not depend on her actions, and that we love her regardless. Wow, this is so huge for her and for us! Praise God!
The other one is, that she has started to initiate heartfelt "I love you's". It's not just a bedtime ritual anymore, but will just come out of nowhere. Like I said, I don't know when I first realized that she was doing that - maybe two or three months ago, maybe less? It's one of those subtle things that did not stick out right away, I think because I knew she was happy and loved us for a lot longer than this.
Again, what a step.
I marvel at her making roots, and not just growing taller and more beautiful all the time, but growing deeper. She is holding that trust, that was so fragile and new, in the palm of her hand, and it's growing so beautifully! What a blessing beyond description, and what a miracle.
The miracle of adoption....
We love you, little girl!
I don't have anything real fancy to share to honor this day. At least these things may not seem huge to others, but to me - to US - they are.
They are two significant victories that have kind of crept up on me, and I can't even put a date on either of them. All of a sudden, however, I realized they are there. They really show just HOW far Nina has come in the 16 months she has been with us.
For a long time, when something did not go Nina's way, or she had to be disciplined, she would always shake her head when I told her that indeed I loved her.
She has completely stopped that.
For now, anyway.
She must be learning that our love does not depend on her actions, and that we love her regardless. Wow, this is so huge for her and for us! Praise God!
The other one is, that she has started to initiate heartfelt "I love you's". It's not just a bedtime ritual anymore, but will just come out of nowhere. Like I said, I don't know when I first realized that she was doing that - maybe two or three months ago, maybe less? It's one of those subtle things that did not stick out right away, I think because I knew she was happy and loved us for a lot longer than this.
Again, what a step.
I marvel at her making roots, and not just growing taller and more beautiful all the time, but growing deeper. She is holding that trust, that was so fragile and new, in the palm of her hand, and it's growing so beautifully! What a blessing beyond description, and what a miracle.
The miracle of adoption....
We love you, little girl!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Super-Mom after all??
Well, maybe I can offer a little bit of redemption after my last day of posting :-))
This post is actually about a much dreaded part of parenting (or maybe more so of being a child) - CHORES!!
I have to admit that I have not been very good at establishing chores early on. Yes, the kids always had to help out some, mostly in the picking up area, setting the table and so on, but there has not been any rhyme or reason to it. Kind of like the unspoken "don't go into the kitchen at dinner time because you may get hit with the 'oh, by the way, would you please set the table' " kind of thing.
I don't even LIKE the term CHORES - it SOUNDS like this dreaded beast in the corner no one wants to face, it sounds like something dull, and boring, and totally unnecessary!
Does anyone hear me?
What I remember about having to do chores, is that it always seemed like something that had to be done so we would not have time for the fun things. Okay, one of the cool things to do when I was a teenager, was to go to the public swimming pool and hang out on afternoons with no school. I grew up in a tiny little Swiss town, so the swimming pool was about 4 miles and 3 towns away. We actually went to school there too (from 6 - 9th grade, anyway). Well, I really wanted to belong to the cool crowd, too (never did...), but going there was not something that was looked upon favorably at our house. So one afternoon I really wanted to go, but I was made to do yardwork. THEN I was promised I could go. Well, that yardwork was plentiful, and by the time I was done, the pool was about ready to close, especially by the time I would have rode my bike there!). Can you see why I don't feel all warm and fuzzy about CHORES?
Gosh, I'm not so sure about the direction this post is headed, but this little bit of my past just kind of spilled out. So, bear with me, I'll get back on track eventually :-)
My other thought lately had been "Why did families in the olden days have so many kids that would help with the daily work, when I feel like the more kids I have the more work I have to do"????
Honestly, re-instating CHORES at our house has been a pure act of survival. I just knew the kids needed to pitch in in a WAY bigger way than they have in the past if I did not want to go crazy!
I had made this cute little chores chart quite a while ago, but we didn't start using it until just a couple of weeks ago.
This is what it looks like:
And this is how it works:
This post is actually about a much dreaded part of parenting (or maybe more so of being a child) - CHORES!!
I have to admit that I have not been very good at establishing chores early on. Yes, the kids always had to help out some, mostly in the picking up area, setting the table and so on, but there has not been any rhyme or reason to it. Kind of like the unspoken "don't go into the kitchen at dinner time because you may get hit with the 'oh, by the way, would you please set the table' " kind of thing.
I don't even LIKE the term CHORES - it SOUNDS like this dreaded beast in the corner no one wants to face, it sounds like something dull, and boring, and totally unnecessary!
Does anyone hear me?
What I remember about having to do chores, is that it always seemed like something that had to be done so we would not have time for the fun things. Okay, one of the cool things to do when I was a teenager, was to go to the public swimming pool and hang out on afternoons with no school. I grew up in a tiny little Swiss town, so the swimming pool was about 4 miles and 3 towns away. We actually went to school there too (from 6 - 9th grade, anyway). Well, I really wanted to belong to the cool crowd, too (never did...), but going there was not something that was looked upon favorably at our house. So one afternoon I really wanted to go, but I was made to do yardwork. THEN I was promised I could go. Well, that yardwork was plentiful, and by the time I was done, the pool was about ready to close, especially by the time I would have rode my bike there!). Can you see why I don't feel all warm and fuzzy about CHORES?
Gosh, I'm not so sure about the direction this post is headed, but this little bit of my past just kind of spilled out. So, bear with me, I'll get back on track eventually :-)
My other thought lately had been "Why did families in the olden days have so many kids that would help with the daily work, when I feel like the more kids I have the more work I have to do"????
Honestly, re-instating CHORES at our house has been a pure act of survival. I just knew the kids needed to pitch in in a WAY bigger way than they have in the past if I did not want to go crazy!
I had made this cute little chores chart quite a while ago, but we didn't start using it until just a couple of weeks ago.
This is what it looks like:
And this is how it works:
There are things EVERYBODY is responsible for. They are the basics, and they are on the yellow paper. We call that "Code Yellow". Code Yellow are things like "Wash hands before every meal", "open your blinds in the morning", or "brush your teeth after every meal". As I said, the basics.
Then Mike and I tried to find 5 things that need to be done before dinner, 5 things that need to be done after dinner, and 5 things that need to be done at bedtime. We let the kids pick - which is actually hard for me, as I have a bit of a take-over personality. But I'm learning :-)), and we switch weekly. As far as the picking, the only rule is that everybody has to have one of the three categories, and I made the tags diffferent colors for that purpose.
It's not foolproof yet, but it's amazing the difference it's made so far! When everybody does just a little bit, so much can get done that I don't have to worry about. We need more kids now!! Haha!
Our ultimate goal is to not having to constantly remind them of doing their chores, and we're not sure of what incentives or consequences to implement. Does anyone have any great ideas??? Somthing that works?
If you're interested in the particular chores we have up for grabs, here they are:
Before dinner:
- Pick up outside toys and make sure the garage door is closed
- feed the cats, and clean the litter box
- check garbage and recycling bins, and empty if necessary
- set the table
- be the kitchen helper (and I have something really cool for that in the works, but of course I can't give it away, otherwise it would not be a surprise for the kids!
After dinner:
- pick up living room
- pick up mudroom
- load-unload dishwasher
- sweep the kitchen floor
- clear the table
Before bed:
- pick up the bathroom
- clean the bathroom sink and counter (and wipe down all the gross teeth cleaning leftovers and the spit on the faucet..... ohhhhh is that a pet pieve of mine!!)
- put everyones dirty clothes in the laundry room
- pick a book to read
- lead prayer time
It's pretty cool to see how some of the dynamics of this work out. For example, Nina's chore this week is to put clothes in the laundry room. Well, our laundry room is in the basement, and she is scared of going down there by herself. I knew that, but she is the one who picked it, or it may have been the last one available. Every night one of her brothers has offered to go with her, so she would not have to go by herself.
The concept of working together is really neat to watch. Just tonight, as I helped in the little boys' room picking up hunderds of little iron-beads (or whatever they are called), Alex said: "Maybe we could ask the girls to come help us" (by the "girls", he meant Anya and her two friends that are spending the night, not Nina, who already had to help, very grudgingly on top of that :-)) ). The first thing that TRIED to come out my mouth was a lecturing "WELL, they did not dump them all over the floor!!!" (pretty loving, huh!!). But I bit my tongue and said "Sure, go ask them". Guess what, they were there in 2 seconds, helping to pick up!! I thought that was so cool (and yes, MUCH faster!). After that we read the book "Holey Moley" by Marcus Pfister (a SWISS author, very famous for his Rainbow fish books) - we just got it from the library - and as it was, it was about TEAMWORK!! It's a pretty cute story, and if you have kids that need a lesson in that, I can recommend it!
Now my favorite part about chores is the KITCHEN HELPER part. It's so fun to have that little bit of time with just ONE of the kids, and they can peel, stir, chop, or do other things like that. As I mentioned before, and I'm going to tease you with it just one more time, I have something so cute in the works for that one!!!!!!!! Can't wait for Christmas!
So, if you made it this far (see, I have so much more time for blogging now that I don't have to work so hard anymore!!!!!!), I want to know if someone can save me from the term CHORES!!
Can anyone think of calling it something else, something positive, something catchy?? You can even win a prize!! Not sure what, but I'm willing to fork out a reward for a GREAT idea!!
One GREAT idea that I want to share before I send this off, is this: A couple of years ago, during the summer, we would do a chore-hour. We went to the store and bought a new CD that we'd only listen to during chores. Not ANY other time. The pick at that time was "Veggie Rocks" (very fun if you're a Veggie Tales die hard!), and it worked like a charm. I watched one of our neighbor girls during that summer, and one day, before she went home, she begged me to wait with chores until she got to our house in the morning!! Gotta love stuff like that. Anyway, that was just an idea I thought I might as well throw out there!
So, get your thinking caps on, and help me get rid of the word CHORES - once and for all!!!!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
One dollar, seventy-seven cents...
While I'm on a roll, I might as well tell you that I can go fill up our car again all the way, and not just half way because I can't get myself to spend $75 at the pump!!
This is amazingly crazy!!
I know gas here is always pretty low compared to most of the nation, but right now, I'm just relieved....
Update:
11/12 2pm: $1.75
11/13 8pm: $1.69
11/15 6pm: $1.65
11/19 12pm: $1.63
This is amazingly crazy!!
I know gas here is always pretty low compared to most of the nation, but right now, I'm just relieved....
Update:
11/12 2pm: $1.75
11/13 8pm: $1.69
11/15 6pm: $1.65
11/19 12pm: $1.63
One year ago...
THIS happened.
Doesn't she look so LITTLE in these pictures??
Looking back, it was hard having to pack her around everywhere.
BUT, it was also an awesome time for bonding, for her to know that we are taking care of her, and to be "babied" for a whole six weeks!
Things always happen for a reason.....
Doesn't she look so LITTLE in these pictures??
Looking back, it was hard having to pack her around everywhere.
BUT, it was also an awesome time for bonding, for her to know that we are taking care of her, and to be "babied" for a whole six weeks!
Things always happen for a reason.....
Preschool pictures.... ooops, I guess not!
Oh, the proud moments...
Nina has been looking forward to Preschool picture day ever since Anya had her school pictures taken last week.
She has preschool twice a week, so yesterday I chose to fore go the quick "let's throw a pony in your hair and brush it at least a little so you don't look like you have a mother who does not care" routine we often times have before preschool (will my life EVER not be rushed??), and washed her hair, blow dried it, and even made it go "under" so beautifully with a round brush. Yes, I do NOT own a curling iron. I'm sure you have noticed my hairdo, and there is just nothing to curl. Never owned one, and if I try my hand on one, I'm sure to burn my sweet daugther's ear (that of course has NOT happened to me - ahem....). Well, her hair was beautiful, we picked out a very cute outfit, and she was SO excited.
Until, until.....
Just making SURE pictures were the day I had in my mind, I called the preschool.
You may have guessed the outcome already.
They were last week.
....
....
....
....
JUST KIDDING.
They are TOMORROW, though, so all the primping was in vain.
Well, I guess not, as spending time with your daughter, making her feel beautiful, is never in vain. In fact, I should probably do it more often, as we both enjoyed it!
I took some pictures anyway. Anya did a good job keeping it light, and most pictures are actually the funny-goofy ones that just make your heart sing.
And the "plain silly" ones last :-))
While I'm telling embarrassing stories, do you want to hear another one?
THIS one is really bad.
And true.
Sadly.
It was the day before Halloween, and Nina went to ballet (which she loves).
When we got there, I noticed all the little girls wearing beautiful princess costumes over their leotards.
"That's right!" - I thought, as I faintly remembered something about the girls being able to dress up. Not sure where I had heard about it, but if there is not something in WRITING, more than likely I will not remember to actually do it when the time comes (I used to get so annoyed with reminder phone calls from Dr's offices - after all, who do they think I am? - I would NEVER forget an important thing like that! NOW, however, I'm even inclined to ask my HAIRDRESSER to give me a reminder call, heck, if the grocery store would just call me and remind me that I only have 2 drops of milk left, I would LOVE it!!)
Anyway, back to the original story. I think I'm procrastinating telling you the truth, and nothing but the truth....
I decided - "well, there is no use driving home to get a costume now, Nina just has to do without, and she can dress up later at home". Sounded VERY reasonable. Off I went, running a couple of errands with Anya.
After 45 minutes, we came back to the studio. Not ONE Mom was waiting in the waiting room. Hmmmm, I thought to myself, this IS kind of odd....
When I peaked through the one-way glass, I froze.
There were all the Moms, dancing with their little princesses.
All of them, except for one little girl with NO fancy dress, who had to twirl around with the instructor, because her Mom had not remembered (and I seriously still don't!) that it was Mom and daughter class.
Nina, thank goodness, was a trooper, and I'm really, really hoping that this will be a memory that she will forget *sigh*
Nina has been looking forward to Preschool picture day ever since Anya had her school pictures taken last week.
She has preschool twice a week, so yesterday I chose to fore go the quick "let's throw a pony in your hair and brush it at least a little so you don't look like you have a mother who does not care" routine we often times have before preschool (will my life EVER not be rushed??), and washed her hair, blow dried it, and even made it go "under" so beautifully with a round brush. Yes, I do NOT own a curling iron. I'm sure you have noticed my hairdo, and there is just nothing to curl. Never owned one, and if I try my hand on one, I'm sure to burn my sweet daugther's ear (that of course has NOT happened to me - ahem....). Well, her hair was beautiful, we picked out a very cute outfit, and she was SO excited.
Until, until.....
Just making SURE pictures were the day I had in my mind, I called the preschool.
You may have guessed the outcome already.
They were last week.
....
....
....
....
JUST KIDDING.
They are TOMORROW, though, so all the primping was in vain.
Well, I guess not, as spending time with your daughter, making her feel beautiful, is never in vain. In fact, I should probably do it more often, as we both enjoyed it!
I took some pictures anyway. Anya did a good job keeping it light, and most pictures are actually the funny-goofy ones that just make your heart sing.
The "beautiful" ones...
(and really, Nina does NOT have an underbite, even though some of her cute little grins make it look like it!)
The ones that "make my heart sing"
And the "plain silly" ones last :-))
While I'm telling embarrassing stories, do you want to hear another one?THIS one is really bad.
And true.
Sadly.
It was the day before Halloween, and Nina went to ballet (which she loves).
When we got there, I noticed all the little girls wearing beautiful princess costumes over their leotards.
"That's right!" - I thought, as I faintly remembered something about the girls being able to dress up. Not sure where I had heard about it, but if there is not something in WRITING, more than likely I will not remember to actually do it when the time comes (I used to get so annoyed with reminder phone calls from Dr's offices - after all, who do they think I am? - I would NEVER forget an important thing like that! NOW, however, I'm even inclined to ask my HAIRDRESSER to give me a reminder call, heck, if the grocery store would just call me and remind me that I only have 2 drops of milk left, I would LOVE it!!)
Anyway, back to the original story. I think I'm procrastinating telling you the truth, and nothing but the truth....
I decided - "well, there is no use driving home to get a costume now, Nina just has to do without, and she can dress up later at home". Sounded VERY reasonable. Off I went, running a couple of errands with Anya.
After 45 minutes, we came back to the studio. Not ONE Mom was waiting in the waiting room. Hmmmm, I thought to myself, this IS kind of odd....
When I peaked through the one-way glass, I froze.
There were all the Moms, dancing with their little princesses.
All of them, except for one little girl with NO fancy dress, who had to twirl around with the instructor, because her Mom had not remembered (and I seriously still don't!) that it was Mom and daughter class.
Nina, thank goodness, was a trooper, and I'm really, really hoping that this will be a memory that she will forget *sigh*
And why am I telling you all this? Honestly, I'm not sure. Maybe because I don't want you to EVER think that I'm some kind of Super-Mom.
Just like you, I live by grace, and by knowing that no matter my shortcomings, God is in control, and HE loves my kids more than I ever could.
And it is my prayer that because of my failures and faults, my kids will turn to the God who will never "fail them nor forsake them", and they will find comfort in HIM!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A must read "post-election"
I would like to share a few more things later, but for now I would really, really like you to go here and read THIS post!
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