Friday, February 29, 2008

"I don't have to..."

First it was "But Daddy said...", now it's "I don't have to...".

"Nina, it's time to eat, get in your chair, please."
"I don't have to...."

"Nina, put on your shoes, so we can go to the store.."
"I don't have to..."

You get the picture....
From the adoption books I have read, I have learned that even older children have to go through all developmental stages again once they are with their new parents.
It made sense.
We made sure we nurtured Nina a lot like a newborn after she came home: Time in a sling, bottles (which she still loves), sleeping with us (which she loves even more).
She went through a stage of some stranger anxiety.
She had to be very dependent on us while her leg was in a cast for 6 weeks.
And now?
Dare I say that this is the terrible 2's?
Only 2 of our bio kids really were "terrible" - one of them was to the point that I was not sure if I was going to survive him.... (again, not mentioning any names :-)) )
Nina's urge for independence, control, and testing her boundaries HAS to be this phase, right? It's different to have a 4 year old going through this stage, though.
And again I'm so unsure of how to approach this - yes, she needs learn that certain things just go a certain way. Period. At the same time I want her to know that I AM on her side, and that I DO want what's best for her. I need to re-learn to GIVE her some control, especially since she IS four and not two.
Her older siblings are a bit annoyed with this new little attitude, and she has quite a few little Dads and a little Mom who are in her face about it. I have to tell them all the time that they are not the parent, and that they need to let Daddy and Mama handle it.
I'm clinging to the hope that this is a GOOD thing, and that Nina HAS to go through this, and that it's great she is going through this phase after being with us for only 8 months. I do feel like such a first-time-adoptive-parent though (and yes, I am), where I just HOPE that this too shall pass, and that it will get better. I have no experience to fall back on. I'm just trying to do my best *sigh*.
Please, all you other adoptive parents, enlighten me.....
Yes, I'm a little tired tonight. This has been a long week...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

This is what my house REALLY looks like....

After posting the pictures of our house a few days ago, my sister commented that she wanted to see a picture of our basement *haha*, too. She said: Your pictures look very nice, but I KNOW what your house REALLY looks like. Now she said that in a joking-but-yet-truthful way.
I think it's so easy to just post the nice, sweet and harmonious things on a blog. Yet that's not how our lives usually are, is it? Well, not mine anyway. I mean, we are super blessed, and I truly am happy, but it's still not all roses....
I certainly don't want anyone to think I'm super woman, so I'm going to show you what some of the rooms I showed you last week look like on those not-so-rosy days.
Happy, Hanna???? :-))  

The boys' room, where Legos start to pile up if there is no more room to play next door
The school- and playroom
Our "office" - I know that THIS is a sad sight. We had some water damage a couple of years ago, and had to remove some shelves. Ever since then the Chaos has been unbelievable, but we're currently working on it. (I also think that this is where my passport will show up!!) 
And then the rest of the basement is pretty much Rokenbok City. This play system takes up a lot of room, and it's pretty much a maze...
Hanna also requested a picture of the Laundry room. I have to disappoint her, as my laundry room is NEWLY cleaned and picked up. I have just a little bit left, but it's almost DONE! Yeah!
Yes, we LIVE in our house, that's for sure :-). I recently saw a picture on another blog of a kitchen that was absolutely stunning, but it looked like out of a catalog, and not where a family with children lives. That's not me, so - here you have it. The REAL me :-))))

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The birthday girl dancing and playing


I wanted to share the video of Nina dancing at her birthday party. As cute as it is, I'm wondering what went on in her little head at that time. You can hear all the little girls playing in the background, while she was in her own little world, tuning out everything around her.
Will I be wondering these kinds of things for the rest of my life? How prominent will the "mysteries" of her past continue to be?
I need to pray for discernment to see what is a personality thing, a "here and now" issue, or a "way back when" issue. Some need to be addressed, some given time, others loved away....
I hope that someday I don't have to question everything I do, or she does, in the light of her adoption. Not that I want the fact of her adoption to be hidden (which I can't for obvious reasons...) or ignored. I KNOW this is part of who Nina is, and I KNOW this will affect her always, but the difference between KNOWING it and LIVING it is sometimes huge. Sometimes really weighing on me. But then I'm reminded that each of my kids has unique needs, that will pose unique struggles down the road - whether it's dealing with a disability, perfectionism, competitiveness, or fear and apprehension (not identifying which one goes with which of my children - if you know them, you'll figure it out :-) ). We will all have to overcome - by HOPE, and LOVE, and FAITH...
Ultimately, parenting is not about fixing things for my children, but equipping them to face their challenges, and learn to draw their strength from the One who knows the number of hairs on their head...
***********
Here is a "day after" picture of Nina with her new Leapster. She is so hooked!!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Birthday recap...

Nina has been waiting for her birthday - sometimes patiently, mostly impatiently - for a long time.
The night before her birthday, she wavered - she said that she did not want to have a birthday. That was kind of strange. It was like all the anticipation was just too much for her. At that time I started to wonder how her actual birthday was going to be...
The next morning, she really was not too excited. She acted cranky and irritable at breakfast, but definitely liked to open a couple of presents.
Later that morning her little friends came over: Laney, Lena, Raianna, Raimie and Halle. They all brought their Mom's (or Grandma), little sisters or brother, so there were quite a few little girls running around. I had brought all the play kitchen things in the living room, some dolls and strollers, table, crayons and pictures to color, and the girls just played their hearts out, while us Moms visited. It was so relaxed and low key, I really liked it that way. No tearing through the entire house, because everything was right there. Nina was pretty withdrawn and quiet through it all, preferred to color by herself or dance to the music. One thing I was wondering if all the commotion and all the kids reminded here of the orphanage? Even though she was in foster care for a long time, she may still have some memories.  We had lunch with the whole gang, and then cake, and then it was time for a nap for the birthday girl. After Nico and Elia's swimming lessons, I got ready for friends and family to come over for dinner. I think we ended up being  18 people. Nina was a lot happier in the evening - somehow it was more predictable, with all the people here that she knows so well, and loves dearly. She got SO spoiled on this birthday, with many special present for her to open. 
We got her a Leapster, as she loves electronics, and is so interested in learning. Needless to say, she LOVES it , and she would play all day long if I would let her (but that's where our ticket system comes in handy :-) ). She also got this pretty jewelry box that you see in the above picture - very cute! She received more playfood and a tea set for her kitchen, clothes, toys, games, coloring books, stickers.... you name it. 
I think this was just a special birthday for all of us. Finally she is with us, and we can do all these special things for her. Oh yes, she LOVED her "Hello Kitty" cake! She finally has the family every little girl and boy deserves, where she can grow and learn, and become the person the Lord wants her to be. No doubt he brought her here for a purpose, and we play just a small little part in it. 
Oh, one other thing was SO CUTE... as we sat down for dinner, the kids could not decide which song to sing (we have several "Thank you for this food" kind of songs we sing before meals), so Mike was going to pray. Nina would not have it. SHE wanted to pray. And she did. It was so cute. She has embraced our life with the Lord wholeheartedly, and that is such a blessing to see. 
The total eclipse of the moon was just an added bonus to the festivities - it was so beautiful! It was like the Lord just threw in an extra little bonus for our special little girl!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Pictures of the BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!

I will have to write more about Nina's birthday later - I have a very busy week, and not much time for blogging :-((
I just wanted to share some pictures right away, though!

The Birthday girl and her "Miaow Miaow Cake"
She was BEAMING when everybody sang Happy Birthday!
Nina and all her little friends
In the evening, the extended family and more friends came for dinner. She is sporting a new outfit from Aunt Jo. Again, this is the "Happy Birthday face".




Sunday, February 17, 2008

Golden Rules for Living

1. If you open it, close it.
2. If you turn it on, turn it off.
3. If you unlock it, lock it up.
4. If you break it, admit it.
5. If you can't fix it, call someone who can.
6. If you borrow it, return it.
7. If you value it, take care of it.
8. If you make a mess, clean it up.
9. If you move it, put it back.
10. If it belongs to someone else, get permission to use it.
11. If you don't know how to operate it, leave it alone.
12. If it's none of your business, don't ask questions.
13. If you make a comment, make it a positive one.
14. If you love it, hug it.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

"Tour of home"

Wow, I saved this post as a draft about a MONTH ago!!! Well, since I don't have anything new and exciting to report, I might as well go back and finally post this ;-))))
*************
Before Anja left, she took pictures of our house. She was very nice about it, too, as she only took pictures of the rooms that were picked up  *ha*. So, NO basement or office pictures *sigh*
I thought I might as well show you where we live, so please come in...
The living room
The kitchen
The girls' room
Pictures of the boys' room are here
******
The play and school room. We call it the Lego-disaster room, as the floor is usually covered in Legos!
But every so often, the Legos are picked up. And it ususally lasts about an hour...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

But a better ending :-)



The weather was beautiful today. Occasionally, we have days that feel like spring might be coming back some day. With the long, long winters we have, you really wonder sometimes. 
The kids got their bikes out, and although it was only in the upper 20's, they had a blast. 
Nina was the only one who was not too fast to have her picture taken ;-)

An unsettling Valentines Day morning...

That was a disaster in the making.....
It all started out so romantic ~ with a nice Valentines day breakfast - homemade and heart shaped biscuits with strawberry cream cheese, a strawberry milk shake, cute little Valentines for the kids, nice decorations, candles.... PERFECT!

Until......

.....the thank-goodness-it-was-me-Mama pushed a candle too close to all the decorations! Nico noticed it first and started hollering "Mama, the card is ON FIRE!!!!!! The card that Alex had made for me was not the only thing affected, though. It was also the tulle and Nina's straw hat that was melting and smoldering. Trying to extinguish it all, we also spilled the hot wax on the table. The table, that Nico and I had JUST finished refinishing (pictures below!).
Well, thank God, nothing major happened, and Elia (who was actually sick) felt so bad for Alex, who had his card ruined, that he got out some paper, stickers and scissors, and made a new one, trying to copy Alex's closely. How sweet!


That's what I think Valentines Day is all about anyway ~ showing that you love each other in every-day-kind-of-ways. Elia's act of kindness really blessed my heart.
And I'm thankful.
It could have.....
Nope, don't want to go there!
Thank you, Lord!
***********
Here are the pictures of our refinishing project. My parents bought us this beautiful and very large table several years ago, when it became obvious we were going to outgrow the one we had bought when there was just the two of us...
Although it is a well built table from a well respected company, the finish just did not hold up. It literally started to dissolve, and you could scrape it off with your fingernails. It was nasty, and the top always felt sticky.
I had done some refinishing work years ago, but not for quite a while, so we participated in a refinishing workshop here in town, and it was a great project for Nico and I.

The excited assistant
After we stripped all the old finish off the table
And then sanded it
And then it was re-stained and varnished. All done! It's a bit lighter than it was before, but I didn't realize that until we had it all done and back home. It's still MUCH nicer than before!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A little poet in the making....

Anya has an amazing gift with words. She LOVES to read, and is reading books like "Little house on the prairie", "Little women", and the "Black Stallion" series. She doesn't just read them, she devours them in record time. It's pretty cool to see that. She loves to write, and last summer she wrote some beautiful poems for her new sister, and a pretty deep poem about the color blue that didn't sound like something an eight year old would write.
Yesterday, it was Great-Grandma Ila's 82nd birthday, and we wanted to make her a  special card. We sat down at the computer, wrote "Happy Birthday, Great-Grandma", and then the poetic juices started flowing. I could not believe it! I suggested a couple of lines, and refined some others, but I would say 75% of this poem is Anya's work.
Here is what she came up with:

Presents come in blue and red,
But we've got you something special instead.
It's not wrapped in paper,
It's not very big,
But it will fill your heart
with a happy jig.
We have lots of hugs, and lots of kisses,
from your little Misters,
and your little Misses.
We love you lots, and wish you much rest,
Thanks for being the best of the best.


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Nina's finding ad praise report

Wheww, what a relief...
Right after Christmas, I ordered Nina's "finding ad" from Brian Stuy. A "finding ad" is a chinese requirement for abandoned children, to legally declare them abandoned and free to be adopted. In that ad, a picture of the child is shown, along with a brief description of the finding location. After a couple of months with no response, the child's file is then processed to find him or her a forever family.
Now this is heartbraking to write about, period. 
To look at a chubby little baby who is MY DAUGHTER, is even more emotional.
The one positive aspect I can find in it, is that we have a newborn picture of Nina. 
Our only one.
When we were in China, we received a Xerox copy of her finding ad, but the quality that Brian offers, is so much better!
Anyway, on to the dilemma...
I could not find Nina's ad for the life of me!!!!
The one thing that was instrumental in my faith as a child, was that the Lord always helped me find my stuffed hedgehog when I had lost him for the 548th time....
I'm not too much of a messy person, really, but I have the uncanny ability to misplace things in a matter of milliseconds. Keys, books, documents.... you name it. 
Nina's ad joined the ranks, as well as my PASSPORT (which has yet to be found!)
And the Lord came through - again. Praise God for the little provisions, despite all my shortcomings....
And so here it is!
Isn't she a cute little peanut? And look at all that hair! 
The second picture is the actual page that featured her finding ad. My favorite part about Brian's service is that I have the negatives of these two pictures as well!

the above pictures are pictures of the pictures of the newspaper - Brian's quality is better than this

Thursday, February 7, 2008

I have been tagged!

I’ve been tagged by Buffi To list 7 things you may not know about me. The rules are to link the person who sent this to you, and to leave a comment on their blog (which I do anyway!), so their readers can visit yours. Post the rules on your blog. Share 7 strange/weird facts about yourself. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
But oh my, 7 weird things about me - how to I narrow them down? *LOL*
Here goes....
  1. I still have the love letters from my first boyfriend in third grade. He should actually receive an award for those! Let me quote: "You are the most beautiful girl in town". "You get more beautiful every day". "You are the best singer in the choir".... and so on. Well, as the story unfolds... he decided he did not like me anymore, so he tried to pawn me off to his best friend. I didn't go for that deal :-))). I actually ran into him a few years ago (he still lives in my hometown) - nice guy, a couple of kids... (and hopefully NOT reading my blog!)
  2. I have been to Israel (with King's kids, a ministry of Youth with a Mission)
  3. I'm afraid of heights, and it's getting worse as I get older.
  4. I had a brain tumor (benign, thank God!) when I was 20.
  5. I speak 5 different languages: English, German and Swiss German, French and Italian. The last two have greatly suffered since moving to the US, but they are still in there somewhere...
  6. I'm very, very athletically challenged, and have terrible hand-eye coordination. Yes, I can ski and get to the bottom of the slope, I can swim without drowning, but that's about it. 
  7. I'm artistic, but in a very abstract way. Don't expect me to draw anything realistic, and I have no eye for interior decorating or yard designing. I just don't see it! But give me an existing flower bed, and I'll create something beautiful, or give me a bunch of craft supplies, and I'll make a collage for you. I love to play with shapes and colors, textures and so on, though! I knitted my first sweater when I was in fourth grade (with help from my Mom).
And  here is a baby picture of me! Cute, huh :-))))

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Party girls!

Nina was invited to her friend Laney's birthday party! Tina did a great job having a tea party set up for the four girls, and they got to decorate straw hats, too! Well, I think the Mom's actually had more fun with the hats :-)). Nina was a little apprehensive at first, as she is not really used to "playdates", but after the second piece of cake decided that it was okay after all.
Don't they look adorable?
Laney turned three ~ and she is growing so quickly too. Remember this picture?
Beautiful girl!
And silly, too!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

"But Daddy said..."

Where did Nina learn this?
It has happened several times now, that this was Nina's comeback, after Mama didn't allow a certain behavior, or would not let her eat candy before a meal, or other equally profound and life-altering situations :-))
She has such an amazing grip on the english language, she even leaves me speechless!
The funny thing is to see the straight face that goes along with it, even though I can detect a slight twinkle in those little eyes of hers...
And just a few days ago she started talking about her life with her foster parents again. She only shares little tidbits, but they are so precious and special, and I hope that she will share much more of it with us.
I have been gone for a few days, and been VERY busy before that, so that's the reason for the recent silence.
We're here, we're well, and we're off to a birthday party as soon as Nina wakes up from her nap....