Home TWO weeks

I have been wanting to reflect on the first 2 weeks as a family of 7. I actually have been putting this post off, because it is pretty personal and kind of difficult to put into words what I'm feeling.
But now I have this gorgeous picture of Miss Nina - isn't she RADIANT?? - and it may just be the right time.
I'll give it a try...

I expected Nina's transition into our family to be difficult. And at times it was, especially that first week in Changsha.
The big mistake I made though was to focus my thoughts on HER alone. Let me explain: I felt ready to help HER become a part of our now rather large family. I thought about how to include HER into our daily activities, and how to introduce HER to our extended family and friends.

When we came home, I was caught off guard. Nina made herself at home fairly easily. Really, she was a trooper. She loved the attention, she took to her new siblings right away, she was comfortable in our house and didn't act like a stranger at all. The ones who struggled were our other kids and ME!

All of a sudden I had thoughts like "Who is this three year old stranger in my house?", or all I wanted was hanging out with my children I KNEW so well. The bond I had felt with Nina while we were in China felt so insignificant. So small. So new. And it was hard. Very hard. I felt like I had the total Baby Blues (is there such a thing as Adoption Hormones? There's GOT to be!)

On the other hand there were our 4 kids who had been without us for up to three weeks. There was the anticipation of our return. The anticipation of the new sister they had waited for and prayed for. And when it all finally happened, they crumbled. Kind of. There was lots of crying at our house the first couple of days after we came home, and everyones emotions were pretty crazy.

That first week was not what I had expected. I did not anticipate the needs everyone had, I had always just thought about Nina's needs. Boy was I off! By the end of the week, I was so worn out emotionally that I would just sit down and cry once all the kids were in bed and asleep. It was so hard to take care of everybody's needs - I did not want anyone to feel left out, unloved, loved less, or a combination of all three. Add to the mix that we were tired and somewhat jet-lagged (not bad, though), and Mike got quite sick a couple of days after we got home.

It was like Satan was trying to steal all our joy, to destroy the bond we had begun to build with Nina and to whisper the lie into my ear that our family would not be whole again. Once I realized what was happening I was able to pray against that, and now, at the end of week 2, I can start to see how things are slowly coming together. I have to remind myself that we followed the path the Lord had laid in front of us. His plan. And he is still in charge. Of my emotions. Of my kids. Of my family.

Why am I sharing all of this? Because I hardly ever read about this kind of stuff. I was not prepared well for this part of Nina's adoption. It is my hope and prayer that it will help others to be encouraged, and to prepare themselves for a ride that continues to be wild and unpredictable even after you survive the long trip home from China.

*****Deutsche Version: www.chinagirlswitzerland.blogspot.com Titel: 2 Wochen *****

The kids wanted you to see this!

Today was a good day. The kids had a lot of fun playing together, and then one thing led to another....
Nico loves his chinese PJ's, and so he pretended to be chinese and bow (although I never saw that done while we were in China). Pretty soon, we had a little bowing demonstration going, and the fun of course was at the end!
They begged me to put it on the blog - and here it is...
You can guess who has the loudest giggle of them all!

This is amazing...

I knew that little kids learn a language fast. But what little Nina BoBo is "producing" is mind-boggling. She is learning English SO super fast!
We have been home 2 weeks now, and we've had her for almost four. Here is her vocabulary so far:

Mama
Baba (sometimes Baba-Daddy)
Nico
Anya
No (figures!!)
yellow bus
Yo-Ma (=Grandma)
Ladybug
come here
Hello
Hi
Bye Bye
Fish
Pooh
sleep
More
Please
milk
Yummy
Pee-pee
it's okay
cookie (Nico taught her that!)
gum
cow
pretty
Banana
monkey
puppy
ball
shoes
Miaow
Lob'you (=Love you)
brush teeth
peekaboo
Amen
bossy


signs more, please, sleep,fish, eat and drink

I wish I could speak that much Chinese!

First it was all fun and games...

Nina had her first doctor's appointment today. It started out really well, and she was a trooper with all the little tests they do for the well-baby checks.
I had noticed that she has totally clogged ear canals, and of course the doctor noticed it too, so they attempted to clean out her ears. Well, it was not as easy as we had hoped. She SCREAMED bloody murder - it was obviously very painful for her. We have to do ear drops now for a few days which should dissolve whatever is left in one of her ears. Wow, I hope this was a one-time thing! And to make matters worse, she received her vaccinations at the end. More screaming, of course. Poor little girl was just beside herself, and a sucker only helped so much.
We got home so late that I decided not to put her down for a nap, and of course she fell asleep on our Slushy run later on, and she has been a mess ever since. She is super sensitive, clingy, her legs are hurting from her shots, and she is just plain miserable. Before dinner I ended up putting her in the sling, and it was amazing to see how quickly she relaxed and got comfortable!
What was very reassuring to see is that she did not see me as the "enemy" when all these "bad" things happened to her. She definitely looked to me for comfort and let me be the "good guy". That is very encouraging.
Her and I have quite a little bond going, but I will post about that some other time. Right now I have to go finish cleaning up the kitchen that has the permanent "a bomb just hit" look, and I need to finish installing the bicycle seat I got for Miss Nina (just call me Tim the toolman Taylor *ha*)
Good night to all!
Thank you for still checking in on us! I enjoy all your comments and encouraging words so much!

I quit...

Haha, I had to make this sound dramatic.
I officially resigned from my position at the hospital today. Although I reduced my hours quite a bit this spring already, we decided it would be best if I'd stay home for now. This is an absolute first for me, as I have always worked part-time. It worked so well with my night shifts - or should I say it worked well for the kids ;-)), but things happened this past winter and spring that made it impossible for me to do it anymore. God really worked on my heart on this one and helped me accept my main responsibility as a mother more readily and happily. Not that I was a half-hearted mom, but I always took pride in and enjoyed working a little bit away from home.
My supervisor has been very gracious about my descision, and I know that the door will be open if I choose to return to the world of sleep disorders and snoring patients.
So, as of August 7th I will be a stay-at-home mom. Don't worry, I will continue with my Gourmet business as usual (well, maybe at a somewhat reduced pace as well, at least for a while), and I'm really looking forward to not having the added outside responsibilities.
We trust that God provides for our family, even with a reduced income, and we will be okay!

Sweet little Mama....

This afternoon, Nina found the baby stroller in the closet, and she is GLOWING! She is a very nurturing and caring little girl and takes good care of her baby!

My big brother is a pretty cool guy!

Nina likes her big brother Nico a lot - he is a willing slave to pack her around and to teach her cool tricks!

First Sunday at Church

Today we took Nina to Church for the first time. She has done so well with being in large groups of people that we felt comfortable enough to take her (and of course the other kiddos as well!)
She did fine, stayed close by, but was open to others too and gave out some of her cute grins and giggles.
While I'm glad she did fine, I also realize that we truly are in the beginning stages of her attachment to us. Yes, she likes us, she looks to us for help and comfort, but I don't feel that her attachment is exclusive at this point.
I wish it was.
We need to continue to nurture, love and support her, so her initial attachment can turn into an exclusive bond. While I was talking to Mike about this, he made a profound statement about an infant not having a choice but being taken care of. I think he is so right - Nina CAN chose to push us away, she CAN prefer her sister over me, because she is a toddler with her own little will (and boy, is she opinionated!!). I'm looking forward to this little seedling of trust and attachment to grow stronger and more beautiful. I think we're off to a great start, but because she is doing so well it would be easy to take our eyes off the tasks ahead.
We can't.
I'm ready to head into this new week, and I want to keep my eyes on the one who loved us when we were his enemies.
Here is a picture of our Sunday Gang. I have to admit, they were unwilling participants in this photo shoot, as it is very hot here today, and they did NOT enjoy the scorching sun one bit.
But the proud and happy Mama I am, I wanted to capture my handsome and beautiful children in a picture!

Water Fun!

First day at home

More pictures of Nina's first full day with her new family!

Homecoming pictures

I know, I know..... it's been almost a WEEK and I still don't have any home pictures up! I have many thoughts yet I would like to share, but for now, here are some pictures of our first week at home.
These first ones are right after our arrival at the airport.

Who do you think is going to be the boss around here??

We're home!

Yeah, we made it! It's wonderful to be home, it was AWSOME to see our kids.
It's also a bit confusing to be home.
And I'm tired.
Nina loves the kids, and their first day together has been pretty smooth.
I'll post in more details later this week...

Miss America!

We made it! We're in LA, waiting for our connecting flights home early this afternoon. Nina is now an American Citizen, and here is the proof - her first Chocolate Chip cookie!

Just when you think the work is done....

...it is actually just beginning.
We have been interviewed, fingerprinted, screened, background checked, examined, talked to, asked to pay a lot of money, asked many more questions, requested to swear an oath about our truthfulness.
We have prayed, wondered if we were crazy, hoped, feared, cried and held on in faith.
We have a new daughter.
We are ready to go home.
Work done.

NOT.

It's a new beginning. We're not coming home from this exotic vacation with good memories and a lot of pictures alone. We are going home, and our family and our lives will not be the same. This is as exciting as it is scary. How will this new blend of children work once the first excitement has worn off? Will they get along? Will they grow to love each other? Will they all feel special, no matter whether they were adopted or not? Will Nina feel like she truly belongs?
I guess I should be able to answer these questions in a few weeks, months or years, huh?

We will be leaving the hotel in just a couple of hours. We're packed and ready to go. We can't wait to see our kiddos, that's for sure. We're just not complete without them.
We're also leaving this international adoption community, that we have been a part of during the last 2 1/2 weeks. We have met some wonderful and inspiring people that we will always feel connected with.

Thank you for going on this journey with us. I will continue to update our Blog after we're home, but I may need a few days to recover and to find some sort of a routine. So please don't give up on me if there aren't any immediate entries.

She has come a LONG way...

Our youngest daughter has turned from a scared and sad little girl into a confident, happy, fiesty little Miss Attitude who enjoys having Mama and Baba lay at her feet.
And all that in a matter of less than 2 weeks. The transformation is just amazing. She is trying to speak English (No, bye bye, calls herself Nina Bobo, tries to say Nico and Anya), signs more and please and has learned to use a garbage can :-))
Here are some pictures to show that transformation:

Red Couch Photos

Here are some group pictures on the red couch. Aren't these some beautiful children?
Front: Zachary Ping
On couch, from left to right: Hannah, Talon, Abigail, Adelina, Taitlyn and Nina.
The second one are all the kids and their families.
It was so nice meeting all of you, and I can't wait to see how the kids are adjusting to their lives at HOME!



****Deutsche Version: Gestern machten wir auf den beruehmten roten Sofas Gruppenbilder. Diese Familien sind alle mit der "unserer" Agentur hier. Nur die Zwillinge fehlen auf den Fotos, da sie bereits abgereist waren.*****

Here comes the Beauty Queen

Nina loves the scrunchy, that one of the shopkeepers gave her. Since her hair is so short, she wears it as a headband ;-)))
She tried to make a very serious face while I was taking her picture!


*****Deutsche Version*****
Ist sie nicht huebsch, unsere Schoenheitskoenigin??? :-))
In einem Geschaeft bekam sie von den Angestellten diesen Haargummi. Da ihre Haare so kurz sind, braucht sie ihn eben als Haarband, und hat einen riesigen Stolz. Sie hat sich fuer die Fotos fest Muehe gegeben, ein ernstes Gesicht zu machen ;-))))

To the Youngs and the Ferrills....

Hey guys, I know this is selfish, but I'm glad your travels don't start until we're home, so I can read all about your trips, too! All your comments have been so sweet and encouraging - THANK YOU!
To answer your questions....
Ramen Noodles - they're everywhere, and come in a handy little cup (fork included) - just pour boiling water in it. Super easy!
Heat - it is very hot and humid here in Guangzhou (Hunan was more dry), but I would imagine your home state being similar. It might not be all that unusal to you.

Really, you can buy everything here - you'll find little grocery stores here on the Island, and in the province as well. And if there is a Carrefour or Walmart where you go, you're set anyway. Lots of good cookies, crackers, sodas, juice, fruit and everyday necessities.... you name it. Just bring enough to get you by until you can get to a store. I have been surprised by the selection.
Bring your own batteries - we had to buy some at the hotel in Changsha, and they lasted about 6 hours!!

While I'm at it - I might as well do a toy run-down on what has worked well for us.
Top of the list: Bubbles ( we have used 1 of the Gazillion Bubbles from WalMart), Stacking cups (she loves them in the bathtub and for snacks), and after a while the travel sized Magna Doodle, Balloons (bought them here), Markers (bought them here) and paper, stickers. Loves her backpack (bought it here)
So -so: Beads and Duplos (loved them at first, now doesn't play with them much)
Not a hit: little animals, lacing animals, stuffed animals and dolls

Do I have your passwords to your travel sites? I definitely don't want to miss out on any of your travel details! Can't wait!
Happy packing to both your families!
Barb

Testing the Limits

Tonight, Nina and I went to the park that runs pretty much through Shamian Island. There is a small play area for the kids, and she had fun on the slide, until some big boys ran her over and she face planted into the rubber mats.
Miss Spicy Girl is running on no nap today, as she was too busy being wild earlier. I don't think she needs her long naps anyway (at least not daily, or not for 2 - 3 hours!), as it was after 10pm by the time she finally fell asleep last night.
Anyway, I would guess that the no-nap-situation is not helping, as she has been testing our limits quite a bit today. On our way to the park, she'd run away from me, looking back and laughing in a defiant way. At meals, she throws her stuff around and rather plays monkey than eat, and a while ago she clubbed me in the head with her magna doodle *ouch*.
Wow, our relationship is moving into a new phase... she obviously feels safe enough to test us (a good thing), but it's a fine balance between being nurturing and reassuring and being a total pushover. She needs to learn some boundaries, that's for sure, but we will need a lot of wisdom on how to go about it and on which battles to pick. What makes it even harder is that we don't speak the same language so we could communicate details needed to make discipline effective. We are definitely having a wonderful time with our new daughter, but there will be many more challenges ahead. We got a little glimpse of that today.
It makes me think about unconditional love again: DOING the right thing. No if's and but's. Laying your life down for your friends (or your fiesty new daughter?). Keep our eyes on the one who has the perfect love.
**********
A quick update 5 minutes later.... it took her about THREE minutes to fall asleep (or 2 1/2....), so tiredness was MOST LIKELY a factor in her state of mind.....



*****Deutsche Version: www.chinagirlswitzerland.blogspot.com Titel: Grenzen *****

Me and my friends

Since our friends S and A will be leaving later today, we took some traditional "red couch" photos with their kiddos. It doesn't get much cuter than that!!
We also treated ourselves to the infamous breakfast buffet at the White Swan hotel, where most adoptive families are staying. It was very good, at the same time there is only so much you can eat ;-)), and the price was pretty steep. But at this time, it's all about the experience, right?
We want to do some more shopping, and this afternoon we will visit the pearl market. That should be interesting. Our Visa paperwork is being processed this morning (just got word that everything is okay!), and we will take our oath at the US Consulate tomorrow. As soon as we receive Nina's visa, we're officially free to go home - YEAHH!


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****Deutsche Version: www.chinagirlswitzerland.blogspot.com Titel: Freunde*****

City Tour Introduction

A couple of days ago we took a City tour (I told you I was behind!). We visited three different places here in Guangzhou, and it was very interesting. To make it easier, I will break it down into 3 separate posts.
They will be:
-At the Buddhist Temple
-Provincial Arts and Crafts shop
-The Chen house

*****Deutsche Version: www.chingirlswitzerland.blogspot.com Titel: Stadtrundfahrt *****

At the Buddhist Temple

According to our Guide Buddhism is mostly the religion of the older generation. She explained that her generation was raised not to pay any attention to religion, but to believe in science only.
The Buddhist temple was a very ornate and rich looking building, the Buddha statues covered in gold (not sure if it's real). Occasionally, people were burning incense and saying their prayers. Grace explained that you pick an odd number of incense, light them, then bow to the Buddha as many times as the number of incense sticks you're holding. While you say your prayers or requests, the smoke of the incense will carry them up to the skies.
I'm so thankful that my prayers go straight to the LIVING creator of the universe!
There were male Buddhas and one female Buddha, and a monastary where the buddhist monks live. While it was interesting to see it was also lifeless. A beautiful sight with no meaning to me. I'm excited to know that Nina will have a chance to get to know Jesus, the one who saves!





****Deutsche Version: www.chinagirlswitzerland.blogspot.com Titel: Stadtrundfahrt *****